After they left, she looked the same. She walked the same, talked the same as before. 

Have you ever watched rain on a window? Not the spatters from fresh droplets, but the droplets gathered on the pane. One gets heavy enough to break away and race down the glass, barreling through those in its path. Occasionally it pauses to regroup, but it moves on quickly enough. It's hard to tell if those it encounters are moved at all. They're still the same blobs, one part oxygen and two parts hydrogen. But they aren't the same.


     I don't know if I believe in Christmas anymore. I'm taking a class called 'The Christian Tradition' and reading Diarmaid MacCulloch's Christianity, which brought to my attention that the Nativity Story is only mentioned in the later two of the synoptic gospels (Matthew and Luke). Also that in a "client kingdom" such as Herod's, Roman bureaucrats would not have bothered with a census nor would they have cared that about Joseph's attested "belonging to the house and lineage of David" (though early Christians converting from Judaism would have), which are the reasons indicated for Mary and Joseph's journey to Bethlehem. However, Christ being born in Bethlehem would have been very important to early Christians who referred to Micah's prophecy (for the Messiah to be born in Bethlehem) as a validation of their faith. 
     However, the story has little to do with the rest of the gospels and is not referred back to in any of them. In fact, Jesus is specifically recognized as being from Nazareth in Galilee. He is even called "Jesus of Nazareth." MacCulloch postulates that the story was a later addition to give Jesus' birth "cosmic importance" and create bridges from Judaism by fulfilling Micah's prophecy and comparing Jesus to Moses (Flight to Egypt and infant massacre). 
     Modern celebration of Christmas has irked me for quite some time for reasons beyond its commercialization. I'm no Scrooge, I enjoy it as much as the next person, but it has some issues. I would not say that Christmas is "over-celebrated" or "overrated." Assuming that one believes the Nativity Story, it would not be possible to over-celebrate such a miracle (I will add here that while I have become skeptical  of the Nativity Story, I have no qualms with the celebration of the birth/incarnation of God's only son which is certainly an event worthy of celebration). I might, however, say that it has been over-emphasized in proportion with Easter. In my personal view of Christianity, I find it defining of the religion that God is "made man," but even more defining that this God incarnate would sacrifice himself to save all of humanity and then rise once more. The main symbol of Christianity is a cross, not a manger or a baby, and there are reasons for that. Yet Easter today seems to me marginalized. Even after going to the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem this summer, I don't give Christmas the same veneration as I used to. I don't know, I suppose it's just the latest transition in my faith.

Imaginary Place Where I Want to Live #16

I have this image of a village of house boats all linked by floating docks, anchored in the center by a grounded town square with a grocery store, little park, etc. Everyone would walk to their neighbor's house or the store. If you felt like it, you could just dive out your front door for a swim. It seems so peaceful. Then, if you wanted, you could detach your house boat and drift away on vacation. I won't lie, this was partially inspired by Pacifilog Town in Pokemon Ruby and Sapphire, but it often pops into my head when I want to be somewhere far away.

I have always wanted to create or participate in a scavenger hunt of massive proportions. Cross-country, global, or otherwise. I love the idea of it. Scavenger hunts, to me, are about searching for certain things and discovering completely different things in the process.

This dream plus my desire to be cremated and sprinkled have metamorphosed into this crackpipe plan of mine in which I will posthumously direct a scavenger hunt-esque journey of scattering my ashes. (The only reason this mixing of children's games with funereal procedures isn't morbid is that I would be the dead one, I've decided.) It's an entirely narcissistic plan at face value, to think oneself of such importance, but really I'd be giving the participant(s) the time of his/her/their life. They'd go to Harker's Island and Alexandria, find that one fishing village I fell in love with in Scotland but can't find the name of, pay attention to the sky every day to find the most perfect skyscapes for the wind to carry me to. At the very least, I'd be paying for a vacation.

and the ones who deserved it, they'll never understand it.

These are a few of my favorite words:



wordle.net

You're welcome for sharing.

Okay, maybe this is just me or maybe they did it on purpose, but the whole "leaving home" sequence in Disney's 'Hercules'  is very similar to the one in Oedipus Rex.

Boy grows up with false parents. Boy seeks truth at temple. Vision/revelation/etc. at temple reveals true destiny. Boy embarks on journey (read: high-tails the fuck out of there, in Oedi's case).

Is there a description of this in the original myth of Hercules, I wonder? That'd be interesting to see. By the way, Rich Orloff's Oedi was just... ah. Soo good. I loved Jocasta, especially.

"Mom... I want a divorce."
"I never thought I'd hear such a thing from my own son."

"'There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral-- immoral from the scientific point of view.'
'Why?'
'Because to influence someone is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an actor of a part that was not written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly-- that is what each one of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves, nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self.'"

Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

Just sharing. Also, I finally read Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, (if I had to describe it in one word, it would be, "Asdewfglglreotutk") and I would really love to quote it right now, but that might
a.) spoil things for a book that you are hereby ordered to read. No excuses.
or
b.) end in my quoting the entire book in this journal, which, while being an extremely time-consuming endeavor, is also quite illegal.

Yeah, so that's basically it.

Random thought I had in church the other day:
At some point, Jesus being our new advocate in heaven after the crucifixion was mentioned. And I thought of the similarities between the Resurrection and the American Revolutionary War. This is, of course, looking at the said war from a very biased and fourth-grade-education-type view point, but the idea interested me nonetheless. So mankind needed representation as the colonists did before. Through sacrifice and inner-turmoil, the new state is achieved. Just as the earth has not yet reached perfection, however, American democracy is still imperfect (to say the least). Baby steps, perhaps? Ooh, and does that make George Washington or Lafayette or Locke Jesus or disciples? The comparison may have little merit, but it struck me as something slightly original, if demented. Mmmm... representation/democracy... perhaps on principle means appeasement but never satisfaction, keeping different parties from rebelling by maintaining a balance-- which, even then, is not always achieved. I would philosophize about the contrary state of paradise if I had much intricate knowledge of it. In fact, when I try to consider paradise as all men agreeing or accepting the authority of any one God or something of the sort, the theory disregards the uses of free thought, This is why I often speculate that our current state is paradise if we let it become a balance between our human selfishness and our understanding of God's will. What I mean to say is: I can't imagine a place where everyone has the same thoughts and desires being called heaven. I believe we all have different thoughts and wants and ways of looking at the world for a reason. Maybe all it takes is accepting that we are all inherently right in God's eyes and all undisputably wrong in comparison to God to find peace. But even then, we experience the pains and uncertainties of the mortal world unless one is completely detatched-- meaning one can't really observe or experience the 'ordered chaos' of the world acutely. Maybe heaven is the place where knowing is enough. Don't know-- never been there; or I don't think so, anyway. Depends, I suppose. But I digress....


I would like to recognize and apologize that a solid 75% of the writing so far consists of me qualifying or discrediting the ideas with which I'm wasting cyberspace.